To better understand everything that is to follow, make sure you have already covered my previous post Productivity so you can follow along. If you wish to start from the original article, check out my post The Roadmap to Overman.
In this article you will learn the following:
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- What virtues you should work on
- Importance of those virtues
- How to develop each of the traits
For the start, I will list all the virtues and then explain each of them. I will also give you small actionable steps to keep improving on these virtues. I have thought this list through in great detail and I don’t believe there to be anything I should add or subtract. So here is the list: justice, honesty, integrity, loyalty, responsibility, discipline, courage, determination, curiosity, open-mindedness, love, kindness, humility, respect, patience.
Justice
Justice is the quality of being fair, of doing the right thing. It means doing the right thing because it is right and not for any other reason. Not because of fear, not because of anxiety, but because it is the right thing to do.
The importance of justice is that it establishes equality, allows social systems to exist, and solidifies freedom in all its variations.
To develop it, start examining yourself by asking: is this right? Ask yourself this question and use the value of honesty while doing it. If you do this before any tough situation that you face, I guarantee that you will act following what is right. If you wholeheartedly try to do the just thing, no one will ever judge you even if you come up short because human heartedness will always be superior to righteousness.
Actionable step: Use the “Is this right” question on a daily basis.
Honesty
Honesty is the trait of being true to yourself and others unconditionally. White lies may seem like a good act, but their destruction is hidden behind good intentions. You don’t even know what amount of damage white lies can create, and my advice to you is to never use them. You could argue that there is a time and place for them, but I will give you this: stick with what you believe is the best thing to do, and you will realize that 99% of the time it is to be completely honest. Avoiding the truth is almost always your attempt to avoid discomfort. For those reasons, when you are not sure just stay honest. This applies when you are talking to others and yourself.
The importance of honesty is that it establishes trust and confidence in the honest person. No kind of relationship can last without trust so you must practice honesty as often as possible.
In order to develop honesty, promise yourself that from this day onwards you will never lie just so you can avoid discomfort of the truth. Keep this promise and very quickly you will reap the benefits of honesty.
Actionable step: Eliminate white lies.
Integrity
Integrity is the quality of having firm moral principles by which you live. It means having clear-cut lines that you do not cross no matter the circumstances. It means standing by your beliefs amid challenges.
The Importance of integrity lies in the fact that it protects who you are, your beliefs, and what you stand for. Without integrity no self-improvement will stick, because you won’t have the character to practice the things that you learn.
To develop integrity you must set clear-cut rules that will govern your life and stick to them. Don’t be too rigid and never change your principles, but make sure that you change them for the right reasons. Also, choose your words wisely because what you say must be kept. If you give your word to someone, it is as good as done.
Use integrity in correlation with other values and always act by what you believe is right.
Actionable step: Write down a list of 1-5 rules/actions that you will follow every day for a week (examples: make your bed, keep your word,… It could also be a daily routine that we discussed). Then next week add another 5. Make sure you stick to them and have a punishment system in place, in case you fail to follow the rules.
Loyalty
Loyalty is defined as a strong feeling of allegiance or devotion towards something. It is truly the absolute most important value a person can possess, and you should surround yourself with only those people who have it.
The Importance of loyalty is that it gives others peace of mind when they are around you. They feel comfortable and confident that they can trust you. This way you create connections that will aid you in the future.
To develop it, there is no exercise you could do. You just have to choose to be loyal and use integrity to keep it alive. Set loyalty as one of the 5 rules from the integrity challenge and stick with it.
Actionable step: Write loyalty as one of the 5 rules in the previous actionable step.
Responsibility
Responsibility is the trait of taking accountability for certain actions or situations. I want you to take this a step further and practice the art of extreme ownership. This is a concept from a book by the same name which we will cover later in the chapter regarding leadership. None the less I will explain what this concept means. It is the idea of taking ownership/responsibility for absolutely everything in your life. It is your fault if your teammates fail, it is your fault that your girlfriend is struggling, it is your fault that your parents are arguing. It may seem too far of a stretch, but if you take a look at it objectively, there is always something you could have done to help or prevent the problem, but you didn’t. You could have earned more money to help your parents, you could have been more loving to help your girlfriend, and so on. That is why I want you to take extreme ownership of everything in your life.
The Importance of responsibility lies in the fact that you take the situation in your own matters. Once you accept a problem as yours, you can start working on it. You can’t fix a problem that you first haven’t taken ownership of. Responsibility is the thing that gives life meaning and to achieve ultimate meaning you should take ultimate responsibility.
To develop responsibility, decide today that from now on you will practice the principle of extreme ownership, and trust me when I tell you, this trait alone will ten times the quality of your life.
Actionable step: No more excuses, take extreme ownership of everything in your life.
Discipline
Because of the importance of this trait and the fact that there is an excellent guide on YouTube, I will link the video instead of explaining it to you.
Courage
Courage is the ability to act despite fear, and to keep your ground when faced with difficulty.
The Importance of courage can be found in the fact that it is the basis of any heroic deed. Courage pushes you through when your mind starts to get dominated by fearful thoughts and question your capabilities.
To develop courage, you must face your fears. I want you to have at least 1 uncomfortable task that you face every day. It can be walking up to your crush, having that awkward conversation with your parents, or anything of the kind. The point is that you become comfortable being uncomfortable so that you learn to deal with fear. And remember the quote from the chapter on fear: all fear is just ego’s fear of death.
Actionable step: Have 1 daily uncomfortable experience.
Determination
Determination is the quality of sticking through it, no matter the challenge. Failure only comes once you accept it as reality. You cannot fail if you never decide to give up.
The importance of determination is that it pushes you even when you don’t feel like moving on. It is the trait that allows you to keep on keeping on, even through failure (The difference between determination and courage is that courage pushes you through fear, while determination pushes you through everything else ).
Determination is also called willpower and just like in the case of discipline, there is a great guide on the internet by the same guy so I will advise you to watch it.
Curiosity
Curiosity is the trait that gives you an inquisitive interest in the world. It is what promotes creative thinking, the flame that lights the spark of creativity.
Curiosity is important because it is the beginning of innovation, It opens up new worlds and possibilities. By being curious you will be able to see new worlds and possibilities that are normally invisible. The origin of any great idea is creative thinking, and curiosity is the base ingredient of it.
To develop curiosity, you only need to realize that nothing is intrinsically boring. Look past the feelings of boredom and find the fascinating details in anything that grabs your attention. Use the knowledge that you acquired in the chapter about presence.
Actionable step: Practice careful listening or reading whenever you are engaged in those actions. Make sure to ask follow-up questions to either the person you are speaking to or yourself whilst reading. The goal is to start the process of creative thinking by going deeper into the topic/thing at hand.
Open-mindedness
Open-mindedness is the willingness to search actively for evidence against one’s favored beliefs, plans, or goals, and to weigh such evidence fairly when it is available. It is the key to finding the truth.
The importance of open-mindedness lies in the fact that without it, there is no room for advancement. Once you eliminate the possibility of a statement being wrong, there is no way forward. This is one of the biggest problems plaguing our society today because people are dehumanizing themselves by becoming blind worshipers of an idea. That is why it is crucial that you keep an open mind at all times and actively search for the truth. The reality of the world we live in is that you can never be certain if something is true or not. You can only try your best to find the truth.
To develop an open mind you have to constantly check your beliefs and analyze objectively if you are right or wrong. There is no shame in being wrong. Shame comes when you stubbornly defend wrong opinions just because of your ego.
Actionable step: Follow the following two rules whenever you are debating someone:
- If I can’t argue convincingly from both sides of the debate, I won’t debate.
- If there isn’t anything that could ever convince me otherwise from my beliefs, I won’t debate.
Love
The definition of love that I will be using is the one from the first section that we discussed. Love is the deep state of being or rather an aspect of the state of inner connectedness with being. It is the state that you feel once you are fully present in the moment. The ultimate goal is to reach the level of unconditional love, which does not diminish depending on the outside circumstances. It is the love that radiates outwards.
The benefits of love are many but I will highlight one crucial upside to it. Reaching the state of unconditional love mentioned above will give you such a feeling of joy, happiness, and bliss that it will heal you both mentally and physically. There is no better treatment for pain, stress, or suffering than love. It is the ultimate cure for any problem. It will also eliminate any possibility of new problems coming up because in that state no emotion could arise, only love flowing unobstructedly.
To develop love there are again many ways you could do it, from being more loving towards all the people you interact with, to practicing meditation called Metta. In any case, try your best to show more love towards others as often as possible. First thing in the morning hug your parents, send your loved ones messages of appreciation, tell people that mean to you that you love them… Just in general be more loving.
Actionable step:
- Practice Metta ( loving-kindness meditation ) from the Waking Up app. Do at least one session.
- Let your closest know that you love and appreciate them by hugging them or sending them a message daily.
Kindness
Kindness is the value that is characterized by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistance, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return. It is the act that comes from the core of our heart. But don’t mistake kindness for weakness. Some people act “kindly” because they are too scared to stand up for what they truly think they should do. Kindness should always be backed up by integrity, not by fear or other negative emotions.
The importance of kindness is vast, but one I will highlight is that it makes all involved happier. It is a very easy way to experience happiness whenever you want, and feelings of happiness have plenty of benefits of their own.
To develop kindness decide that you will from now on do at least three acts of kindness per day, but don’t confuse this for acts of love. An example of kindness is helping your grandma clean the dishes, while love would be hugging her. If you are not sure which is which, think of it this way: practice doing something for someone else as an act of kindness.
Actionable step: 3 acts of kindness a day.
Humility
Humility is the ability to take a step back and follow others that are better than you. It is the ability to accept the fact that someone else is more experienced and it is your job to be the second in command. It is also the act of not boasting or using your accomplishments to step over others. The act of behaving as equals no matter who you are dealing with.
The importance of humility lies in the fact that there will be times when other people are just straight up better than you, and you should look at these situations as opportunities for learning. Instead of letting your ego get in the way, let the leader lead and use their knowledge to get better in the future. One more crucial aspect of humility is the ability to treat everyone as an equal to you. This builds trust, and admiration and greatly improves other people’s opinion of you.
To practice humility, treat everyone the same way, with respect, love, and kindness. Look at the people in your life that you treat the best, and apply the same kind of treatment to everyone on the day to day basis.
Actionable step: Be the same person when talking to a janitor or your girlfriend.
Respect
Respect is the giving of high regard to someone or something. It is extremely crucial in business, politics, or any situation involving two or more people. It could also be interpreted as reputation.
The importance of respect lies in the following: the level of respect someone has for you is the level of treatment you will get. The worst thing that could happen is others having no respect for you, so make sure that you protect it at all times. When talking about being respectful to others, we come back to the idea of humility and treating everyone equally and respectfully. At all times be fair towards others as it truly goes a long way.
Gaining respect is all about implementing all other traits. If you act with integrity, courage, discipline, and so on, you will naturally accumulate respect from others. Developing the act of being respectful on the other hand, lies in the practice of treating others without the involvement of your ego. If you leave your ego at the door and treat everyone with justice, kindness, and humility, respect will be expressed as a result. There is no extra exercise you need to perform, just follow everything we already said and you will develop respect in no time.
Patience
The final trait we will be talking about is patience. Patience is the ability to wait and not succumb to the pressure of time. It is the skill of not acting (wu-wei).
The importance of patience is the fact that it allows you to persevere and make more productive decisions, often leading to greater success. But don’t mistake patience for laziness or uncertainty. A patient person has an exact plan and is just waiting for the opportunity to arise. He isn’t checking out other possibilities, but just following the plan that he had from the very start.
One of the best ways to develop patience is meditation, as it forces you to be still and in some sense “do nothing”.
Actionable step: Do a 30-minute or longer meditation session in one sitting.
Conclusion
Virtues are the building blocks of personality. If you want to live the best possible life, you must become the best possible version of yourself. It all starts on the inside and what kind of a person you are. By adopting and working on these virtues, you are directly working on the quality of your future life.
When you are ready, move on to the article Foundations of Reality.